you said...

 you are disappointed

 I hold grudges towards you

 I dont know how to reflect on myself, on my unaccepted behaviour

 it's my friend's fault for coming home late

 Money is not an issue but every sentence you said, you talked about money. How paradox. Money really makes the whole go round.

 There's a serious communication breakdown

All these.. are like the sounds of a brook. 

Everyday I came back home, I hear nothing but harpings. You want me to tell you how's my life.Fine. I told you I'm having a flea market going on at Dec, you said "dont tell me about it. cause I'm not gonna lend you any $." 

I dont even have that intention to  borrow money from you. My skin is not that thick.

Nowadays,I hate coming home.I dont know why I hate this place so much.Prolly that's the reason for going home late? To see you hogging the com, doing reducdant stuffs which I adhore, to see another one submerge into her own world watching dvds. What about me? I feel like I'm trapped in a cage. 

Once in awhile, when you talked to me, honestly, i dont find the things you said interesting. It's so mundane, so useless. I feel so sick talking to you. and then when I dont speak, you accused me for being rude. It's so irritating. You're so irritating.

so all in all, it's MY fault. and it's true. I always do things that make pple feel disappointed

in me. I always reflect on myself. but what about you? Like as though you dont have a part to play.

I've got so so so so so many things I dont like about you. but I cant say. It feels like coil wire tangled in my throat. It's so difficult. 

I dont know how to live with you anymore.I dont hate you. I dont even bear grudges. I dont even know why you said that.

Love is not that beautiful afterall isnt it. 

My little bitter, crushing heart,seems like no one can understand