Breathe me

GO!

2010-08-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

AVALONE AT LARGE! Awesome much? Cant contain my excitement already.

2010-08-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

2 more days I'm going to break through this shithole and go back to being the real me. I cant hardly wait I wish I can leave now now NOW.

Hysteric

2010-07-29T09:02:00.000-07:00

I realize I always complain how my bf ill-treat me but in fact... its the other way round.

HAHA.

2010-07-13T08:47:00.001-07:00

I want a leather jacket and a tutu skirt.

Good days and bad days

2010-07-02T07:04:00.000-07:00

I'm eating myself up.

In 2 months time

2010-06-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

I'll be flying to many countries, seeing different cultures, meeting new people. But I'm not excited, not yet, because I dont want to leave anyone behind. Especially you.

Weekend wars

2010-06-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

my day off were very very fruitful and thank God for that. I've not achieve anything and look forward to something for quite awhile ever since attachment starts which is 1+month ago. My life aint fabulous now, not a single bit happening but doesnt mean I'm not happy. Unsastified but not miserable. Paradoxical, isnt it?I dont know how to describe my life

Im living in a new dimensional level. I'm expose to working life now - vicious people, juicy hurtful gossips, complicated lifestyle and working environment, living in days of pretense. I clearly understand now why people said they missed being a student. I guess it's more carefree, less commitment, lesser stress. so enjoy while you can.

whoa, it's been way too long to have the extra time to sit down and write something(nothing). My mind is kinda blank. I was thinking maybe i shouldnt blog anymore, it's useless. I've got nth to write anymore, nth to be pensive anymore. This suck.

okay whatever it is... I'll go into the what- I -did-for-the-past-week. I attended a DJ competition @ scape park and Science discovery centre to support my boy. He got the 9th place out of hundreds of DJs and I'm so proud of him. Keep it up! Then I went for a job interview(my dream job) and I made it. So approximately in 5 months time, I'm one step closer to my bigger dreams. Cash flow is pretty good this week, I dont know why but this means I can buy more clothes =happy.On my mum's 45th birthday, we went Ikoi @ hotel Mirama for awesome sashimi buffet. It's been quite a while since we have dinner together. The food was so good, too good for me to describe. will definitely go back soon again.

Few things I look forward to - end of my attachment which is August 9. start of my new job. Getting DSLR and IPHONE 4 HAHA. Trip to Kyoto and Osaka and my 21st birthday at Capella(I wish!). and last but not least, spending time with Mark and occassionally meeting up my friends.

Passion Pit : Dreams

2010-06-17T04:22:00.000-07:00

Surprise me?

2010-06-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

have you seen a person struggled and pass away? I did. Today at work. It sure didnt feel good.I felt like her too - my feelings, struggling and dying.

See you in a year later, summer!

2010-06-10T08:40:00.001-07:00

Do you want to know what am I up to?

wake up
breakfast/lunch
listen to my ipod in the train
working
working
working...
x9
look at the clock
ipod again while going back home
delete some songs, insert new songs
facebook/mails/blogshopping sometimes
talk to Mark
sleep

repeat.

exciting much?

June: Music

2010-06-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Tired and uninspired

2010-05-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

who can I turn to when the person you are closest to does not make you feel happy and he himself cant even be happy? pretty sad huh.

2010-05-25T00:00:00.001-07:00

when was the last time we went out for a date?

If the world is coming to an end, what would you want to do?

2010-05-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

It's 0630 in the morning now.Other than the soft ticking of the clock, my room is silent. My head so heavy, my mind is blank. I woke up from a dream at 3am. Thinking that if today is the end of the world, what would I do? I couldn't find an answer. I was afraid, so I gave M a call and his voice calm me down. Such a repose voice. (:

I woke up at 3.45 by the sound of rain beating incessantly on my windowpanes . and as you know, I'm afraid of thunder. I feel like someone is coming to get me. So I switched on my com, listened to the azure ray and the morning jacket to soothe my chattered soul.

4.15 am- Believe it or not, I kept thinking about Sherry. His face at school when I said Hi and his face at his wake. It doesnt even looked like him.

5am - I have no idea why I woke up suddenly but at that point of time, I really wish I could cuddle M. He always put me to sleep.

6am - My stomach aching so badly. Ugh

This is insomnia, isnt it?

Bermuda Highway

2010-05-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Hi Sherryberry,

you're the cutest and sweetest diva I've ever seen in my whole life. Those times when we partied so hard on Sunday and getting prepared for Halloween night at my house painting your nails and shopping around for a school bag and counting down 2009 at Roger's crib were the best best memories ever. We had so much fun. Your presence is just so significant.

R.I.P

Miss you always

fastest fingers first!

2010-05-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

wanting to get knotted tunic so badly from The Scarlet Room. I waited ever so patiently for the clock to strike 8 - the released of new collection, and was super hyped up because I really want this harem high wasited pant so much(turns out to be it's model own) so I frantically hoped that I'll see something I like and ta-daaaaaa, THE KNOTTED TUNIC! I wasnt too sure of it at first, like... do i really like it? but then after 5 mins, I was like.. fuck yea, it will look awesome. and just when I was one click away from payment, it's sold out. what a luck, seriously? in such a short period of time it's sold out? I'm so pissed with myself.

and because I was so so excited and desperate to get something I like, I bought a vintage blouse which I dont know if mm.. I really like it? But I feel happy that I've got something and definitely proud of myself because that's the only piece! like I could breathe in fresh air and ease my muscles, finally.

All the above, was what I felt 5 hours ago.

Now I'm sitting in front of the computer, scrutinizing the vintage blouse, I'm not too sure about how I feel.If only knotted tunic werent out of stock, I dont think I will even buy the blouse? Pray it will look good.

I kinda like the 'dying to get something but you cant get it in the end' feeling? It makes me even want moreeee.I'm hungry for clothes and I think I'm psychotic. I think I really can relate to Rebecca Bloomwood, if she exist.

Anyways next time, blog shopping.., fastest fingers first!

2010-05-10T03:48:00.000-07:00

and i just got prove that my dad have been lying to us all along. all his excuse of going out for friend's party or whatsoever, was with girls whom doesnt even know we exist.

2010-05-10T03:13:00.001-07:00

its so true when people say when you're in love, you lose your mind. I think i lose my mind big time. I fell very deeply with a boy. and I was very happy. I see a future in us, I really thought he is the one(tad silly I know) , I want to be with him forever. I wake up loving him more each day.

however, I feel like he does not love me like how I do. but this fact is taking my soul away. His mum does not like us to be together, she hates me, she hated all his girlfriends. So now, he have decided to listen to his parent because he said parent will always be there for him and will never change. This means he will have to give up on me(obviously) but yet he doesnt want to let go but yet he doesnt want to do anything.

I kinda understand why you dont wanna tell your parent about me. because mentioning my name, will make them angry, will disappoint them. so you rather I suffer because parent are more important to you. Or in other words, because I'm not worth it. because maybe you dont see a perpetual future in us and you just dont wanna spoiled your r/s with your parent.I totally understand.

But getting to this epitome of understanding, is really hurting. Because I finally know the truth, that everytime you said you love me, it's just words.

If I were you, if my parent have to stop me from seeing you, I will try to negotiate with them and if that fails, I'm still gonna stick by my decision to be with you. I will destroy everything that disapproves us. Even if I got kicked out of the house, have no more allowance, have no beautiful clothes to wear, have no nice food to eat, lost my parent's trust and respect, I will still stick to my decision. That's how much I love you. I can sacrifice evrything for you , die for you, stay awake for you cause I believe you are worth every single sec of my time and i will do anything to make you happy. Will you do that for me?

I feel really amazed that I could love a person to this extreme, but well, sadly the boy I love do not feel the same way. I dont feel stupid, I dont feel waste of time. I'm still waiting for an answer, of what he's gonna do about me. I'm not hoping for anything. Because I believe if he really loves me, he will fight for me. No. matter .what. There is no such thing as obstacles in love.

2010-05-10T03:01:00.000-07:00

Parent are always parents, they will never change. Thus no matter what you do, they will always love and forgive you. If they really understand their children,they should let them be who they are and not change them. Even tho you opposed/rebel, do stuffs they strongly disagree, just believe in your own mindset , cause this is growing up, you fight for what you want and at the end of the day, you have no regrets and you will be proud of it. And ultimately your parent will still be there for you, will still love you. Their love will never die. Its just how you want to live your life.

2010-05-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

it's not personal but you're already hurting everyone, esp me, a fucktard who doesnt know what's going on.

2010-05-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

There's a vast difference between saying 'I love you' and doing it. To my dismay, you always forget the latter part.

Try sleeping with a broken heart

2010-05-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

why, what's wrong? what is going on exactly?

I feel stranded,lost,unwanted. I waited for your phone call the whole of last night.. until 3am, until I feel really tired and knocked out. As usual, I was carrying a tinge of hope in me, although your brother had already told me you were sleeping, I was still hoping you would call me which you always would. You said you cant sleep w/o talking to me. Likewise, I feel the same too.

Actually, we stopped talking since ytd's afternoon, didnt we? For what reasons, I've got no fucking idea. I was so god damn worried the whole day, my mind was all about you - if you got into some troubles again with your parent, or you will out for dinner, or prolly your parent kick you out of the house or whatsoever. Ha, those preposterous thoughts. I can only describe myself in one word - stupid.

Yea I really am, now that I know the reason why you were doing that.

Have you really thought about how I feel and not to be selfish for once? I was so apprehensive ytd I couldnt sleep. Even when my eyes were heavy, I fought myself to wake up.This morning, I woke up at 11, like with a jolt to reality. Frantically and happily to open my mails to see if you left anything for me. and what I've recieved, is replies from you that you want to be alone for awhile. and you got to avoid me?

Seriously,what the fuck is your problem?!?

I'm really speechless,Mark Ng. Did I do anything wrong?

I dont want to go through this kind of sadness again. It's overwhelming.I'm not a genius in deciphering your thoughts. How long is your 'awhile'? Your time spent thinking will be the amount of tears I shed. I could be patient if you let me know that you need time to think, rather than to dumped me aside and be evasive, not uttering a word until I had to find out myself that you are avoiding me the next day. Stupid, stupid me. I need to learn to let go. If you really love me, you wont bear to put me in this state, again.

Even if you were a million miles away, I could still hear you in my head

2010-05-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

WHERE'S MY BOY AT!?!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Food In Tokyo

2010-05-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

Our first meal at Roponggi Hills. which is tad unworth for. This salmon rice cost us $18++. but when we walked along the streets of Roponggi, this actually cost like $12?

my meal. cost about 20 ++

@ tsutuki fish market. The fish taste so fresh and sweeeeeet yummy!

The cheapest meal of all the food we had.

@ sensoji temple. this taste like muah chee with sugar syrup

lotus bun or something. crispy on the outside, sweet and soft on the inside. very nice!
@ Isetan Shinjuku. We spent a bomb on only food.

Strawberry shortcake: got this for 12bucks a piece. expensive huh. nice to look at,but it doesnt taste heavenly

famous bakery shop at Ginza which is famous for melon bun

rice crackers. taste like salty 'wang wang'

Vegan restaurant at Asakusa. I can have 3 bowls of this.

Curry rice @ Shibuya.

Takopachi @ Harajuku.

Crepe @ harajuku. This is awesome.

HAHAH and macs! cause on the last few days we were pretty sick of sushi's and curry and udon and ramen.

actually this suppose to be a food post. But I lost all the photos I took on the first two days. So here's what Ive got.

2010-04-30T10:05:00.001-07:00

cant you satisfied me for once?

Different Stars

2010-04-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

the thought of wanting to see you is excruciating.

Basics

2010-04-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

time for some shopping therapy

2010-04-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

I really wish you will come back, but I know you cant. Dont say you cant control, cause you can if you want to. I'm very jaded to hear this again and again and again. As much as I expect and look forward to see you,this Saturday means nothing to me.

2010-04-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

OBSESSION

I LOVE DISNEYSEAAAA!!!!

2010-04-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

I didnt charged my camera for disneysea SIGH how smart right. The weather was awesome, about 16degrees with blazing sun.

Entrance of DisneySea

ahhhh chipmunks!

Breakfast - even the bread and coffee taste good

my mum's fav cartoon character

one of the smoking areas

The volanic theme/area

The Arabian Theme/area

Mermaid Lagoon!

Turning dark and batteries running out

The show at night. Enthralling.

DisneySea makes me truely happy, I felt like a kid, a very very happy & satisfied kid. It's like you dont have to care about anything, buy fastpass,queue up for the rides, anticipate the rides, done with the rides, munched on cinnamon churros and strawberry popcorns, take photos with the mascots, watch shows every other intervals, carry maps and sipped hot mocha, house of terror that freak my mum out, smoke like nobody business. OMG i miss disneysea already :(

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF TERROR MUAHAHAHAHAA

Disneyland makes me H-A-P-P-Y! (:

2010-04-18T16:34:00.000-07:00

so about 2 weeks ago, my mum and I headed to Tokyo for a 8 days vacation. I've been longing for this forever as I've never been to Japan before. Anws I'll upload the last 2 days pictures first which I covered Maihama ( where Disneyland and Sea are located at) Truckloads of pictures.

The weather was the worst that day. Rain began to fall, a light sprinkle at first, then gradually harder,and it lasted all the way until at night and the temp was like 5 degrees? plus when the wind blows, OMG I. CAN. DIE.

Personally I prefer DisneySea than Disneyland prolly because the rides in DL are rather old and uninteresting. and in additional to the cold weather, one wouldnt want to step out of cafes/restaurants(a warm environment) to queue up or enjoy the nice scenery. But no matter what, it's still breath-taking. Universal studio in Spore is like half a peanut if I will to compare both.

Our hotel was at Shinuyrasu. 1 stop away from Maihama. Thus we decided to take a cab since we were quite lost and the cab fare added up to : S$20!!!!! Distance: 7mins(max)

OMG I LOVEEEEE THIS. I almost psycho my mum to buy this but luckily it was to no avail because I wont wear it in Spore anyways. One raincoat cost about S$25 I think but soooooo cuteeeee!

Crazily shopping and cam-whoring. I swear I want to buy the whole store down

okay from here it started to rain heavily. You can tell how gloomy the sky looked. I did not edit the pictures at all.

Carousel - all time favourite!

one of the nicer rides at Disneyland

comes alive at night!!!

The fireworks was quite disappointing. and I didnt manage to take photos of the night parade cause I left my mum to take a rollercoaster ride and I couldnt find her thereafter. Miscommunication. But I was too overjoyed being lost, I wasnt even freak out because the night parade was soooooooooooo AWESOME I was utterly intrigued. I wished I have pictures.

2010-04-13T08:57:00.001-07:00

can something good please happen?

2010-03-25T22:48:00.001-07:00

skins movie? sounds like a wicked idea (;

2010-03-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

dont make us sound so miserable cause I dont feel that way now. and I'm starting to hate ur twitter

Overwhelming Excitement

2010-03-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

It's kinda fustrating I've got no nice winter clothes to wear to Japan. Everything is just dull :( black black and black. Mark commented I'm weird cause I spent my time at home figuring out what clothes to throw in my luggage when I'm flying off in a week + time? BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! the point is I'm going to JAPAN means I've to wear something nicer or quirkier.ok whatever nobody will understand. and all my boots are spoiled which means I've to wear flats covered shoe which i hate. and so I thought before I fly off, I could happily shop for coats or big jackets which what my mum and I usually do but this time round, she kinda avoided going town with me. I guess she knows what's on my mind already. EH But waittttt. the best part is when i opened her closet, motherfucking cb... so many new clothes!

To summarise, I'm really excited to go Tokyo prolly cause it's my first time, but I guess I'm over reacting it ? Digging out my clothes from my closet and folding back one by one later after 2 hours of fashion show everyday is kinda tiring.

I like this outfit, can wear to Japan! I was searching high and low for maxi dresses but I couldnt find one i reaally really like.I used to have so many of them but it just doesnt really suit me well.

I've been procrastinating to cut my hair short for about 2 months. Maybe like Freja's. But I need to get curlers.

M's Birthday

2010-03-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

*blow candles! hahaha

although the night ended really really disappointing, but my love for you will never change.

1 week

2010-03-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

almost 1 week M's gone:

I'm addicted to blueberries

My expenses escalated like fuck

Stayed out everyday

Meet BFF everyday

Fell in love with crystal Fighters

I didn't shop at all

The first few days will depressing, M got admitted to the hospital & I screwed up my attachment

Watched green zone matt damon is so hot I want to watch invictus next

Downloaded lots of songs MGMT new album's out

Finally get to remove my nail polish

Determine to get hair curlers from fep

Chimes to drink on wed and hit the club ytd and left the place feeling happy and broken at the same time.

Finally had a proper dinner with my mum but to find out things I shouldnt be finding out

Thinking how I'm going to survive/die next week

Preparing my clothes for Tokyo and the strategy to psycho my mum to get a camera for me cause my G9 is down hence explains the lack of photos.

In 3hours time, M is back and I cannot cannot cannot cannot wait, for later and tmr.

2010-03-12T08:13:00.000-08:00

just for today, I'll cry myself to sleep.

2010-03-12T02:40:00.000-08:00

Never take it seriously. You will never get hurt

If you never get hurt. You'll always have fun.

Posting all the fashion-related entries because I've got no $ to buy new clothes.

2010-03-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

I guess when you have no money to buy new clothes, you should modify some of your old clothes. I'm drained altering my led zepplin bandt, it's been 7 hours and I'm still working on it. It's wholly addictive - Sewing, putting on chains, cutting holes. Cant wait to see the final outcome. It looks damn nice already hahaha.

H&M is launching a denim collection. Cant wait to fly to Hk/Japan already. Aye M, wear this can or not? lol.

topshop have one similar top like this. but it's fucking not worth it. Merely 70bucks, not even full length.

Disko legs! (:

Band tees!

2010-03-05T23:20:00.000-08:00

M gave me some band tees the other day, I'm so gonna design it so that I can wear it out (:

and I just finished one week of ED posting. This is the best posting by far. I yearned to stay longer at work everyday. Until August to go.. hopefully my PRCP is post to some wards I love if not I will dread going to work. ok even typing this makes me yawn urgh

2010-02-26T03:31:00.001-08:00

My last day of school

2010-02-26T01:35:00.000-08:00

When I'm in Poly, I tell myself that it’ll be great when I have a job and won’t be so oppressively poor the whole time. But what no one tells me is that the reverse is true; you’ll never be so rich again as when you’re a student.

My parents pay all my bills(which is a norm for a student),gave me allowance every week, then my mum gives me a little bit more money because she thinks I'm destitute, and soon enough I'm in HMV every Monday buying DVD boxsets so that I can feel justified in sitting at home and not going to lectures.

When you have a job, you’ll never have the time to do such decadent things again, and you’ll suddenly start getting hit by things like 'Tax’, rent, and just generally having to pay your own way. and all that money you thought you had earned? The government are gonna take loads of it before it even hits your bank account. And what’s more, you won’t end up with the dream job that you thought you’d walk into, like being a trendy photographer, a fashion designer, or being in a semi-successful band who earn just enough to get by but have heaps of street cred on the underground scene, or whatever the hell you do on your blog.

Instead, you’ll end up taking what you can get, like the majority of the graduates now, which will be a dull office job and you’ll spend all day e-mailing your friends and feeling happy with yourself when you take an extra five minutes over lunch. Getting a job really is the worst part of your life, and you will never come to terms with how soul - destroying it is.

I'll never allow myself to end up in a world like this. Alienation dehumanize people. 5 more months or more to enter the workforce. I cant retain my excitement, to be working what I want , to smell my own hard-earn money at the end of every month.

2010-02-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

It's kinda harsh to use those 3 strong words.

Half-fucked

2010-02-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

romance is more fuck up than sociology

2010-02-20T21:41:00.000-08:00

red sneakers!

<3 animal prinnts!

heart throb cole mohr

Airshow

2010-02-17T04:29:00.000-08:00

CNY have never been on my favorite festivals of all times. But it also falls on V day so it's not too bad(not that I like Vday too) My G9 died on me for the 2nd time, I reckon it's time for me to change another camera. I'm in love with Purselyn's lumix and LCA+ lomo and DSLR but then I'll know I'll never get to upgrade my cam lest it's my birthday my mum would buy it for me. and this year's angbao is quite pathetic, it will be gone in a blink of an eye.

@Airshow with M. Taken last last week? the day my camera died -.- I had so much to eat for bf I could die instantly. and the sun was blazing hot and it's so crowded and and and.. I should stop complaining. Nevertheless, it was very fun.

2010-02-16T01:59:00.001-08:00

Skins season 4 IS OUTTTT!!! (: (: (:

Chin Soon's 21st

2010-02-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

@ Coasta Sands. Havent seen my classmates for years. The last time was netball practice. and YAY they are coming my house for pre-cny dinner today! (:

Butter Fac

2010-02-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

I roamed around town hoping I'll buy something nice for cny but ended up buying stussy which is so unappropriate. Cny suck big time.

@Butter Factory ; Yanna's birthday. freaking crazy night. We had VIP tables and unlimited alcohol. I woke up with 5 bruises on my leg. Before butter, Nat & I went for her class gathering at Hard rock. Opened 2 bottles of Jim Bean. Reeked of alcohol before I even went to butter. Awesome.

Im in love with Purselyn 's camera

Phay's Night Out, again.

2010-02-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Phay's @ zouk - few weeks ago

I love Xinyi's hair. I want this purple but not so purple-ish

Surf Solar

2010-02-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

fuck beetroots and steve aoki, warp and pon de floor or whatever They are too overrated.

Even retards listen to them now.

I came across this awesome.. well.. shall i call it band or DJ? cause the music they produce makes me tad confused. They are a little bit indie... and electro....? GREAT! mixtures of my favorite genres of musik ( no wonder I LOVE IT so much) I've nv came across such a unique piece of song for fucking aeons years.

Acid washed - General Motors,Detriot,America

It's almost 3 hours;very close to 6am but I just cant stop playing. It makes me spin- my mind and body.

Try listening at an unearthly hour -I feel a bit mental already. like I'm flying around the solar system for a thousand of years. It never felt so good. I'm on cloud nine, an optical illusion,an oddly tinge of excitement...

You know what what I need now, dont you?

2010-01-31T07:47:00.000-08:00

why is it still 2am in the morning? 12 more hours to go. it's a torment. I suffer now, you suffer later. Fair & square k?

'Hum sup' face lol

Cobrasnake

2010-01-31T07:29:00.000-08:00

Party Parties!!!

Japanese hottest Female DJ.ever.

21st

2010-01-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is abby's 21st held at the yatch. quite sometime ago. I'm just feeling tad indolent to blog.

Leopard!

Avatar & yang

oh and Marche before that for XX's pre birthday dinner!

?

2010-01-25T10:02:00.000-08:00

high? whining? down? initiative? un-replied? you? happy?questions?reply? busy? exams?dinner? both? stabbing? friends? $? forgotten? valium? why? dead? died? moody?tired? rude? me? sorry? not on purpose? stupid? redundant? sleep? phone? So? gaps? restrictions? unhappy? reasons?avoiding? sucky?insensitive?me? conversations? miss?heart? lousy?at least?waste? stop?

can you read my mind?

2010-01-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

ok guess what I'm into Lomography again. I'm dying to buy LCA but $300 for a fucking toy. but I love it sooooo much it's feel better than SLR. and buying film is a problem. I have so many rolls of film in my drawer - undeveloped.walao how ar how ar

Lazy

2010-01-23T06:41:00.001-08:00

something's wrong with me today

Seoul Garden

2010-01-18T04:29:00.000-08:00

Day at starbucks to study with Jan, after which Seoul Garden with M. He said I'll look like the lady in white next time when I'm old :( Black pepper beef is the best!

thanks for the prawn! tho it's not fresh

went toilet x4 after eating. Hotel's buffet is so much better! hiak hiak hiak

2010-01-17T23:04:00.000-08:00

I knew this would happen. but what can I do? I'm too naive to think that I can balance out everything. I thought I'll always have a way, guess I'm so wrong. Not everything would turn out the way I expected it to be.

Its scary -the dagger stares and monotonous voice, like as though we're strangers. Will it helped if I try to please you? Maybe I should leave you alone from now onwards. I'm scare to see a change in you and I dont want it to happen so from now, I'm going to leave you alone. Until...one day. One day when you're fine ,when you start to forgive me.

Get well soon

2010-01-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

haha guess you're very determine to achieve your image of an asshole today eh? biggest asshole of 2010.

you're fucking disgusting

2010-01-14T05:00:00.001-08:00

since when you have a sister and a cousin?fuck you chaocheebye

2010-01-12T07:48:00.000-08:00

the other day, we were helping out at pan pacific for Supreme's sis's wedding. I was supposed to be there and look pretty haha but then I turned out to be the photographer. was fucking stress at first but gradually it became better after we ate haa!hmm very interesting experience (:

and oh the red ferrari wedding car damn fucking chio. sighs pictures in another cam :(

how to die young

2010-01-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

2010-01-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

can I be a little bit more greedy?

2010-01-07T21:32:00.000-08:00

wtf killers tix's have been booked and cancelled?!?!:((((((((((

2009 - 2010

2010-01-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

2009:

how can one be fully alive and feel empty at times?

how can one have so many things in mind to accomplish but just somehow, never get to achieve it?

then again, how can some people comment that I'm always alive when the definition of alive means having life; living; existing; not dead or lifeless.

I like my life. I dont love it however. If you asked me to reminisce, I can hardly do it. I've lost my emotions in 2009. I can only recall I broke 2 precious fragile hearts

I dont feel elated.. not sad.. not hostile.. not angry.. not nothing. I felt nothing.

coldness

nonchalent

breathless

dead.

same old things happened. I got very used to it that gradually I dont feel anything at all.

happened..solved..happened...solved..happened...escaped

I'm very sick of it. I wonder if im living in reverie.

I dont have goals to accomplish, I dont have things I want to learn. No tidal wave. My boat float still, calm as ever.

I disappeared into nothingless. I faded into dust. They look into me and see nothing,only tiny particles floating in the air.

Inhale me.

2010:

I want things to be different. I want my emotions back. I want to face death. I want crazy things. I want excitement. I need to push myself. I need to be out there, feeling genuinely animately existing.

2010-01-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

isn't love just a fantasy?

2010-01-06T10:49:00.000-08:00

<3Kings of Leon ReverlyThe Arcade Fire Crown of loveOasis Dont look back in angerThe New Radicals You get what you giveKings of Leon Notion

2010-01-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

oh hellox. Happy New Year.

I need to drink. smoke. party.learn piano again.relax

no, it's not my resolution. I just want to be like that for awhile

Anyway, 1st Jan 2010 with goodfellas at timbre Artshouse with my favourite people (:

school starting in 8 hours time. not.nice.at.all. This semester will be packed - 5 months attachments and graduating.

Anticipating with excitement with some of the interesting events/party this year. Like abby's 21st, the killers and paramore concert, my 21st birthday etc. and picking up piano again.

lastly, I hope you would get to understand me more.

Johor

2009-12-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

A very fruitful trip indeed as in not shopping wise but food wise. I can still feel baskin robbins ice cream right up to my eseophagus now. I'm so bloated my head feels dizzy. ok doesnt make sense i know.For breakfast, I had pearl milk tea with less pearl cause i heard the amount of pearls is equivalent to 2 small bowls of rice. bf sounds very normal?

wait till you read this

for ytd's supper which I doubt have yet digested. I had chicken stew and 2 cups of drink and bak ku teh

for lunch. I had tomyum seafood steamboat, icecream, starbucks vanilla latte.

for teabreak. I had sausage chicken floss bread.

for dinner. I had hotplate beancurd, oatmeal prawns, half bowl of rice, lotus soup and some wierd vegetables but I lost my appetite when I discovered a small cockroach inside one of the dishes

for supper. I had teochew porridge -minced pork,sotong,intestines,dao pok.

good life i have right? i know. I will soon become like this.

XMAS TREE NEXT YR FOSURE

2009-12-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS we all should be happy :D

2009-12-24T23:42:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS countdown at colonial house

2009-12-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

you're never once my "standby" The past 3 months were real.

VIBES

2009-12-23T04:13:00.000-08:00

Crystal Castles

No Regrets

2009-12-22T21:34:00.000-08:00

my computer's down for 2 days. 2 days w/o using fb, checking my mails, listening to my songs(Ipod also spoiled), not checking out your blog makes me feel like dying.

I've been waking up pretty early these days cause day time makes me feel better or happier. when it comes to night, I could only sleep at 4 or after. So many things running through my mind, too preoccupied to rest. I still have a strong urge to jab in your number when I reached home, I wanted to text you goodnight when I sleep. Im so used to you around. Now you've sailed away, I'm in a complete lost

I'm sure as time pass, the feelings will fade. but right now, my jug still contains water. and no matter how reluctant I am, I have to pour it away. I've already make up my decisions, haven't I?

2009-12-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

always love to be this fish of yours. For all the love and care, this fish is really stupid to leave but yet, she cant look back now already, can she?

2009-12-21T10:37:00.001-08:00

I dont know if the decisions I made was right, but..

you're the best thing I ever had.

Carousel

2009-12-16T00:31:00.000-08:00

carousel for dad's 45th birthday! Food was not very amazing but vanilla cranberry cake is a MUST try. It's like the most delicious cake I've ever tasted.

and of course, for the price you pay for each,not only the service is good, the toilet is god damn nice I spent 30mins cam-whoring(which I seldom do)
so everyone were in zoukout dancing to in and out of love, Nat & I decided we should not waste our night away too. Thus, INDOCHINE! but those motherfuckers cheat my money, forgot to return my change $10! I can use that to buy a pack of cigs. However, we've got 4 cups of free drinks from the bartenders
homeless boy so poor thing. whoa but not bad, he still know where to choose to sleep.

Janell's HL's 21st!

2009-12-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

at bukit batok. madness

ENYI! so kewt!

FOREVER OUR HOLY LESBIAN :D

After which,supper with adrian.

If only the world can stop spinning for awhile

2009-12-15T12:31:00.000-08:00

Lost In The Dark

2009-12-12T21:49:00.000-08:00

Don't I See What's Wrong Can't I Get It right?

2009-12-12T00:13:00.000-08:00

someone's got to go. That's me.

2009-12-11T13:18:00.000-08:00

I hope I can be genuinely happy for a day, just a day will do.

PHAY!

2009-12-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!

2009-12-02T06:42:00.000-08:00

I'm an asshole.

AllI I need is ...

2009-12-01T08:31:00.000-08:00

Random

2009-12-01T04:28:00.000-08:00

I woke up an hour ago to see no msges from you. Perhaps you're sleeping or maybe you're still feeling cranky. I want to eat teochew porridge but my dad cooked me this weird bowl of soupy green noodles with meatballs and sausages inside. I wished I could take a picture but nayyyyy too lazyyyyyy.

My room is so quiet now,no ones at home,it's seems kinda eerie & only Death Cab is playing at the background. Nat stayed over at my house last night. I like when pple come to visit. I adore accompany. I feel wanted. But today no one's here, not even you dear.

This week will be helluva busy week. and since I'm free and awake now, I'll shall watch skins (:

oh before that! pictures from B's house to dye his mushroom hair & zyan's house party. only couple of uninteresting pictures.

Weiloon , monster and Amelia! so kewt!

pardon my nose shit! having flu that day la.

" aldrich!!!! LOOK HERE!"

Feminine side of him.

Like a bit high on booze alr. My face was alr bloodshot red, HATE ITTTT!

JOEL! EH nono, derrick! Look like Joel lah(abby's brother)

see told ya the pictures are boring. sighhhhhh. fucking bored.

joint by hearts connected

2009-11-29T05:01:00.000-08:00

ytd I hear you breathe tired dreams, watch your tiny expressions of rest,spent watching your eye lashes flutter in between inhales and exhales,embraced in the way your arms drape between the cracks of my body in tired unison. I want this everyday cause even in my darkest hour, i feel like everything is so beautiful with you around. I'm blessed, grateful but scared.

2009-11-27T06:10:00.000-08:00

Sid: I'm depressed

Jal: you're not depressed, you're bored

Sid: I'm bored and depressed

My 20th

2009-11-26T01:50:00.000-08:00

spilted into 4 celebrations - with sec school friends ; post birthday. Billy bombers + ice monster for dinner! (:

Then my actual birthday with 2 boyfriends. so very lucky haha! surprised to see ballons at my void deck!!!
to sentosa

Irish Pub and Cedele with SPF, pre -bithday.

and lastly with my parent to Shenzhen for holiday but it's all winter clothes nth much to buy

so adorable, throwing temper

looks gross but it's super nice. peanut noodle

this is the best!!!! grilled oysters I had 16 of it

pardon my ah soh hair

devil's meal consists of 3 different kind of meat- mutton,beef and chicken. the sauce is heavenly good

steamboat ' xiao fei yang' very famous in Shenzhen

That's all for my birthday! I'm finally 20. They say when a person reach 20, she tend to get old easily.so hence must buy more anti wrinkle products. that day abby and I roamed around amk and saw this SKII sample product selling only for 20!!! I WANTTTTT!

2009-11-22T08:28:00.000-08:00

you slipped me off from your hands but why couldnt you hold me back.

2009-11-22T07:37:00.000-08:00

the only thing I'm happy about now is because IM GOING FOR THE KILLERSSSS! :D

and I hope someone's willing to sell for yeah yeah yeah's tix. Feel damn wasted not going for theirs :(

2009-11-20T19:37:00.000-08:00

I want to leave. I'm sorry for everything that I've done. Everyday is a nightmare, I cant really take this anymore

I can hear this beat it fills up my head

2009-11-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

As I'm writing this, I'm 3hours away from HK/China. I'm so not excited. I rather be in school, or lying on my bed. I'll miss everyone,esp you.

Not too scary Halloween

2009-11-11T04:45:00.000-08:00

These are pictures that are super outdated.31st Oct we decided to club but instead everybody stayed to bbq just because the fire refused to start and our poor lil stomach was so empty.

This was taken recently,2days before my birthday I reckon, to Ikea for awesome swedish meatballs we craved for a long time

A dress I saw at topshop which I pretty much like it if not for my bulging tummy I would have buy it. But I saw a dress that was prettier than this and it cost me $113. It was so worth it. I like it so much I dont even dare to wear it out.

Leica

2009-11-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

2009-11-04T23:12:00.001-08:00

hate living life with no money

2009-11-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

say hooray. Cause. Yeah yeah yeahs are coming to town on the 12 of Jan!!!!! (: (: (:

also,I had a great great night ytd. Kudos to my magical powers,ha!
I miss you so much so much,I hope when I open my eyes, you're alr at the doorstep
but
reckon you're sleeping.

I want to go shopping. I've ran out of clothes to wear, boo.

Hello November

2009-10-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

9days to my birthday...